13. Awakening to Happiness

Today’s exploration is on awakening to happiness. Happiness seems to be a concept that is central to the quest in many people’s lives. But what does it really mean? We use many words to point to the concept of happiness. So what are the different meanings and energies these words possess? I got curious and looked up the meanings and etymology of two prominent words usually used quite interchangeably, and they are: joy and happiness. Curiously, they point to slightly different things.

First, joy. Joy has the meaning of feeling of pleasure and delight, it’s a feeling of extreme happiness or cheerfulness, especially related to the acquisition or expectation of something good. Its etymology contains the meanings of “treasure”, and “jewel”.

Happiness, means having a feeling arising from a consciousness of well-being or of enjoyment, experiencing the effect of favourable fortune, being content, or satisfied. Its etymology contain the DNA of being “lucky”.

Feeling into the subtleties of the meanings of these words, joy seems to denote a positive emotion that’s related to an external reward or circumstance, while happiness seems to point to an inner state of calm and contentedness.

When we speak of the mindfulness of happiness, we speak of two types of happiness, conditional, and unconditional.

Conditional happiness are the emotion that arise when an external circumstance rouses excitement, or glee within us. For example, the moment when we first learn that we got a job we wanted. Or when someone has done a nice thing for us. These moments can feel wonderful, and they can also be fleeting. Since they are inherently tied to external circumstances that are shifting and morphing. These feelings rise and pass, akin to the definition of joy.

Unconditional happiness on the other hand, actually points to something much more steady, and calm, like a backdrop of inner satisfaction and peace that is not hinged upon external validations or circumstances. Akin to the definition of happiness.

So for the simplicity of our exploration today, I’ll be referring to conditional happiness as joy, and unconditional happiness as happiness.

Both emotions are integral to the human experience. And the practice of being mindful to joy could be a pathway to cultivating our inner unconditional happiness.

### So why practice being mindful of joy and happiness?

The practice of joy and happiness not only help ourselves appreciate our own lives, and at the same time, it could also be a gift to be shared with those around us. I always remember those small moments when I was having a bad day, and randomly saw someone on the street with a big smile on their face, that instantly had an effect on me. I felt a bit better, and less upset. Their genuine happiness had a radiating effect in that moment and beyond.

So practically speaking, what can help cultivate happiness?

Our minds are clever instruments, and at the same time they can be tricksters too. Often times it’s easier to tell ourselves a story about a dangerous and negative world rather than a friend and positive one. In societies as privileged as the ones I find myself in, perhaps the part of our brain that constantly scans for danger has not yet internalized that danger isn’t as prevalent as it has been earlier in our evolutionary history. When the mind constantly chatters away with a negative story about the world, and especially when we are not aware of this story, it is so easy to fall into a negative view of the world. On the flip side, when we take the time to create space, and allow our minds and bodies to calm down, and recognize what is really happening, then, there is space for cultivating happiness.

One of the very practical ways of cultivating happiness is through gratitude practice. I have a personal story about this one. I encountered the concept of gratitude journaling years ago. Even though I intellectually understood its power and positive effects, I didn’t really understand how to apply it to my life. I remember my first gratitude journal sounded something like “I’m grateful for my family”, “I’m grateful for my health”, “I’m grateful for my friends.” After a few entries, the sentences started to lose their meanings. I felt the words I wrote to be empty and repetitive, and soon afterwards I abandoned the practice all together. However sometime later, I was listening to an episode of “This American Life” about moments of delight. And was struck by how beautiful, joyful, and most importantly, how small and seemingly insignificant the delightful experiences were. Even though the experiences were seemingly small, they contain the emotions of something so powerful I was taken aback. Someone could be moved by momentarily noticing the colours of the sunset, or the beauty of the spiral on a snail’s shell.

I thought, perhaps what I was missing was truly connecting with and being grateful to the small moments of my life.

So I tried the gratitude practice again, this time a bit differently. Instead of simply saying “I’m grateful for so and so.” I wrote down things like, “Thank you dear home for being a safe haven for me to relax in every day.”, or “Thank you dear hands for your dexterity, in helping me create my life.” All of a sudden, I started to understand gratitude and the joy encapsulated by it. When I thanked my home, it felt as if my home was giving me a big hug as I connected with the emotions of gratitude. I also saw how my previous gratitude practice was simply paying lip service to the words, while the emotional connections to real events were missing. To truly feel grateful I needed to feel into the experiences, objects, and the genuine emotion of being thankful. These little moments of gratitude, as I learned later, were moments of being aware of joy in the every-day life.

And what is the outcome of prolonged gratitude practice? Over time, I started to notice my attitude toward my reality started to shift. Instead of focusing on what I didn’t have, or had negative feelings about, I started to appreciate what I did have. Instead of being consumed by a sense of lack, loss, and negativity, there were more moments of contentment, appreciation, and peace.

Circling back to sharing our happiness and joy with others. At some point of inner cultivation, keeping these happy feelings and experiences to ourselves no longer feel enough. Happiness is to be shared with others. Yet it doesn’t have to be forced. By simply practicing being happy, speaking, and acting from a place of happiness, one could already radiate the energy of happiness in our social sphere.

If this topic resonates, I’d like to invite you to join me for a short meditation on awakening to happiness.

## Meditation

Finding a posture as allowed by your body and surroundings, where you can feel relaxed and alert. Whether seated on a chair, cross legged, or even lying down.

Keeping the eyes closed or down cast, whichever feels most comfortable right now.

Taking a moment to breathe, and relax any obvious tensions in the body. Perhaps take a few deep and cleansing breaths. On the inhale, bring you attention to your head and shoulders, and on the exhale, releasing any tension you may find there. On the inhale, shifting your attention to your mid section, the chest, belly, back, and hips. And on the exhale, release any tension there. On the inhale, shifting your attention downwards to the legs, and where your body meets the ground. On the exhale, letting go of any tension there, and notice how the ground is holding you in place, providing you with the safety and stability to breathe, in this moment, right now.

Gently letting the breath flow back to its natural rhythm. Observe the sensations of breath as it enters, and exists your body. Whenever your attention wanders, gently bringing it back to these sensations of your body breathing.

Bringing to mind a circumstance in your life where you experienced joy. It could be as small or as large, as long as it was a moment where you experienced joy.

Racall the circumstances, and people involved if there were any.

As you connect with the circumstances and the emotion of joy, what do you notice that’s arising in your body?

What sensations might you be noticing? Whatever arises, see if you can observe their rising and passing, being with them in whatever form they might be taking, right here, right now.

As you stay with the emotions and sensations of joy, see if it’s available to let the joy envelop you, and open up, as if it were extending into infinite space.

Within this spaciousness that has opened, bring to mind someone whom you find easy to love, or feel positive emotions toward.

Hold the image of this person in your mind, imagine them as a child, playing, laughing, having the most joyous day.

Feeling into the joy of this child, see the world through their eyes.

Gently wish them happiness, and wellbeing.

From this joyous place, bring to mind another person, you will know who to pick. And imagine them as a child experiencing their most joyous day. Feel into their joy, and wish them happiness, and well being.

Now, from the joyous place, imagine yourself as a beacon of light, radiating joy outwards, covering farther and farther ground. Take a moment to wish all humans, non-human beings, plants, the planet, even as far as the cosmos, happiness, and well being.

Finally, letting go of all doing, and simply rest in joy and happiness that has opened. Breathe, and letting be.

Taking a moment to reflect on the quality of your being, of who you are, right now. What do you notice in your being, Do you notice anything that might have shifted since the beginning of the meditation?

What did you notice about yourself while practicing joy and happiness?

What are some ways of cultivating happiness that has worked for you in the past? And that might you like to try?

One last thing, I hope the content of this podcast was of service to you in some way. If you feel anyone you know might benefit from it, please feel free to pass it on. I also welcome feedback on how you’re experiencing these practices, as well as areas of improvement. I’m always happy to learn from you.

Thank you for practicing awakening to happiness with me today. I look forward to practicing with you next time, take care, and may you be well.